Tonight I don't have any great words of wisdom to write about. So instead I will just write about what I am grateful for today:
Time spent with loves ones
A really good day of work
My son (of course)
Time alone
Bejeweled (an excellent way to whined down)
Patience
Good books
The Internet (cause without I would not be writing tonight)
Conversation
Bed time
I know that these all seem a bit silly to be grateful for alone, however when put together in a day. It makes for a great day!
Great days = Happiness
Melissa #1
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
There is no I in team
I used to hate this saying growing up, because I didn't really understand it. Since getting older means getting wiser, I have begun to understand just how important this saying is. When someone puts an I in team, it not only misspells the word, it also creates a lot on animosity in that team.
This subject is important to me because I will soon be working on a team, and I want to keep this saying at the front of my mind. I want the team I work on to be just that, a team, a really good team.
I learned last year how horribly wrong a team can go when everyone does not work together. Or even worse it can go when it gets competitive. A little friendly competition isn't usually a bad thing, but it can easily turn into a not so friendly competition. Last year my coworkers and I started a team to raise money for diabetes (we all work in a diabetic clinic), and at first it was a lot of fun. But towards the end it felt like more of a race to see who could raise the most. Which is great in a way, because we raised a lot of money for a good cause. But the feeling like it was a competition was not so good, we weren't supposed to be trying to one up each other. We were there only to raise money to help support diabetes education and research. So this year as I start raising funds again I am trying to stay positive and not treat this year like a competition. I want it to be fun for everyone involved. It is not about who raises the most, it is about raising money for a cause important to a lot of people. I am really excited to start getting fundraisers organized, I have a ton of fun putting them together, and it makes me so happy when they end up successful. It always amazes me how much work goes into a fundraiser, but knowing that event will help fund research towards a cure is such a thrill to me.
As I work on my resolution to become a great team player, I hope that I can also teach my son how important it is to be a part of a team. Since he is currently playing t-ball this will also be a great skill for him start working on.
Remembering to always spell team right,
Melissa #1
This subject is important to me because I will soon be working on a team, and I want to keep this saying at the front of my mind. I want the team I work on to be just that, a team, a really good team.
I learned last year how horribly wrong a team can go when everyone does not work together. Or even worse it can go when it gets competitive. A little friendly competition isn't usually a bad thing, but it can easily turn into a not so friendly competition. Last year my coworkers and I started a team to raise money for diabetes (we all work in a diabetic clinic), and at first it was a lot of fun. But towards the end it felt like more of a race to see who could raise the most. Which is great in a way, because we raised a lot of money for a good cause. But the feeling like it was a competition was not so good, we weren't supposed to be trying to one up each other. We were there only to raise money to help support diabetes education and research. So this year as I start raising funds again I am trying to stay positive and not treat this year like a competition. I want it to be fun for everyone involved. It is not about who raises the most, it is about raising money for a cause important to a lot of people. I am really excited to start getting fundraisers organized, I have a ton of fun putting them together, and it makes me so happy when they end up successful. It always amazes me how much work goes into a fundraiser, but knowing that event will help fund research towards a cure is such a thrill to me.
As I work on my resolution to become a great team player, I hope that I can also teach my son how important it is to be a part of a team. Since he is currently playing t-ball this will also be a great skill for him start working on.
Remembering to always spell team right,
Melissa #1
Monday, May 10, 2010
Changes
This week I have been thinking a lot about changes, and the challenges that come with change. This subject has been on my mind a lot lately because of the changes I am currently going through at work.
Change is good and bad. Even a good change can be bad, and it effects more than just the person making the change. Take me as an example. I got a great new position at work, which is good for me, however negative for those I work with. They will now have to go through their own changes like adjusting to a new coworker and taking on more work until the new person is up to speed. It is hard for me to walk away from a position knowing it will effect others, even though I know it will be the best thing for me. Which is just one example of why change is hard.
Another challenge to changing is getting used to the new role I will play. Even though I haven't started yet I know that I will have a lot of responsibilities on my shoulders, and while this is exciting. It is also very scary. What if I make a mistake. What ifs are funny things. They are easy to worry about and get wrapped up in. They are a negative part of change. Worrying about a mistake not yet made is kinda silly, however very real. I keep trying to keep my mind off what ifs so that I can focus on the job at hand, and not drive myself completely nuts.
There are all kinds of changes, from changing a diaper, to moving across country and in my eyes they are a the same. Hard. Not just for the changee, but for all that the change effects.
Right now you are thinking 'changing a diaper, that's not that hard and who could it possibly effect', well the tired mom of two is probably having some negativity about this change, and the screaming baby who just wants to be dry, and the older sister trying to get her mom's attention are all effected by that one change. It is how we approach change, that makes us who we are.
I have personally seen a giant change take place. My brother moved his family across the country to move back home. This change affected lots of people. I have to say I am impressed with how well he and my sister in law are handling it. It seems to me that the most pressure is put on those that make changes, and they have to deal with a lot of the negative aspects, even if it was a positive change. Moving is a huge ordeal in itself, then getting settled is even harder. Not to mention that they are having to get settled into someone elses home. That puts so much pressure on everyone in the home. Getting new routines established, sharing a space that is not your own, dividing up household duties, are all challenges they have to face with their change. These all seem relatively easy to get settled, however they are not. It is one thing to know what your role is in your own home, and another thing to know what your role is in someone elses home. I have a great respect for my brother and his family at the way they have adapted to this ginormous change. I have also seen this affected them in a great way, they have become closer as a couple. One big positive for change; it can bring you closer to those you love. One big negative; it can also separate you from your loved ones. Which is a very big challenge in itself and takes a lot of patience for those involved.
With all the changes going on around us everyday (positive and negative), I truly believe how we handle them says a lot about our personalities. I hope that I can always handle changes well, because without change our world would stop. And we should always keep moving forward.
With new challenges come new adventures,
Melissa #1
Change is good and bad. Even a good change can be bad, and it effects more than just the person making the change. Take me as an example. I got a great new position at work, which is good for me, however negative for those I work with. They will now have to go through their own changes like adjusting to a new coworker and taking on more work until the new person is up to speed. It is hard for me to walk away from a position knowing it will effect others, even though I know it will be the best thing for me. Which is just one example of why change is hard.
Another challenge to changing is getting used to the new role I will play. Even though I haven't started yet I know that I will have a lot of responsibilities on my shoulders, and while this is exciting. It is also very scary. What if I make a mistake. What ifs are funny things. They are easy to worry about and get wrapped up in. They are a negative part of change. Worrying about a mistake not yet made is kinda silly, however very real. I keep trying to keep my mind off what ifs so that I can focus on the job at hand, and not drive myself completely nuts.
There are all kinds of changes, from changing a diaper, to moving across country and in my eyes they are a the same. Hard. Not just for the changee, but for all that the change effects.
Right now you are thinking 'changing a diaper, that's not that hard and who could it possibly effect', well the tired mom of two is probably having some negativity about this change, and the screaming baby who just wants to be dry, and the older sister trying to get her mom's attention are all effected by that one change. It is how we approach change, that makes us who we are.
I have personally seen a giant change take place. My brother moved his family across the country to move back home. This change affected lots of people. I have to say I am impressed with how well he and my sister in law are handling it. It seems to me that the most pressure is put on those that make changes, and they have to deal with a lot of the negative aspects, even if it was a positive change. Moving is a huge ordeal in itself, then getting settled is even harder. Not to mention that they are having to get settled into someone elses home. That puts so much pressure on everyone in the home. Getting new routines established, sharing a space that is not your own, dividing up household duties, are all challenges they have to face with their change. These all seem relatively easy to get settled, however they are not. It is one thing to know what your role is in your own home, and another thing to know what your role is in someone elses home. I have a great respect for my brother and his family at the way they have adapted to this ginormous change. I have also seen this affected them in a great way, they have become closer as a couple. One big positive for change; it can bring you closer to those you love. One big negative; it can also separate you from your loved ones. Which is a very big challenge in itself and takes a lot of patience for those involved.
With all the changes going on around us everyday (positive and negative), I truly believe how we handle them says a lot about our personalities. I hope that I can always handle changes well, because without change our world would stop. And we should always keep moving forward.
With new challenges come new adventures,
Melissa #1
Saturday, May 8, 2010
I'm Back
Well after a long stint of not posting due to a lot of different reasons (IE being super busy, with work and home, plus not having much positive to say), I am back! With a lot of positive news. First I got the news this week that I will be getting a new position at work, one I am very excited about! I will be helping the company I work for make the change from paper charts to electronic charts. This may not sound all that exciting, but for me it is the job I have been waiting for, for years. I will be in charge (sort of, I will be part of a group) that makes all the decisions on how to implement the new system. It will be a ton of work and involve a lot of training, first I train on it, then I teach my 200+ coworkers how to use it! Yay for having an excellent new position!
The other great part of this week is today the kids (Dominic and Zoe) had their first T-ball game. After only two practices they both did great! Zoe did amazing, this is her first season of T-ball, and I was so impressed how well she played, and how well she focused on the ball, she didn't take her eye off the ball once! Dominic had two great hits, way into right field, and got four great outs while playing first base (not that the kids are actually out, but hey it counts in my book). It was fun for me to hear all the other parents raving about how well he played. I'm sure it helps they practice as many days of the week that they can. Sometimes I think Dominic is close to obsession when it comes to playing baseball.
So all and all it was a fairly good week, excluding the very long days, and the stress that comes with any new job position. It helps that today turned out to be a great Saturday of sunny T-Ball, Mothers day BBQ, and getting to spend time with the family. It always amazes me how quickly a hard week can be turned around by one really good day.
With hope that more good days will come,
Melissa #1
The other great part of this week is today the kids (Dominic and Zoe) had their first T-ball game. After only two practices they both did great! Zoe did amazing, this is her first season of T-ball, and I was so impressed how well she played, and how well she focused on the ball, she didn't take her eye off the ball once! Dominic had two great hits, way into right field, and got four great outs while playing first base (not that the kids are actually out, but hey it counts in my book). It was fun for me to hear all the other parents raving about how well he played. I'm sure it helps they practice as many days of the week that they can. Sometimes I think Dominic is close to obsession when it comes to playing baseball.
So all and all it was a fairly good week, excluding the very long days, and the stress that comes with any new job position. It helps that today turned out to be a great Saturday of sunny T-Ball, Mothers day BBQ, and getting to spend time with the family. It always amazes me how quickly a hard week can be turned around by one really good day.
With hope that more good days will come,
Melissa #1
Friday, May 7, 2010
Drifting
For those of you scoring at home, the following post was written by my (Melissa #2) brother's wife, Felice. She completed her tour of service in the US Army and was made a part of the IRR (inactive ready reserve) right when my brother left to go to Iraq for 18 months. He got back home last Christmas, and the following Veterans Day, they received a knock on their door. It was a fedex carrier giving Felice her paperwork reactivating and deploying her. She is now overseas and desperately missing her two children. Here is her post:
Melissa invited me to be part of the blog and I am going to give it my best shot. I am stuck in the middle of the desert and am not too thrilled. It is very difficult being a mom and not being able to be around my kids. I am trying to parent from afar and I feel as though it doesn't make much of a difference. I feel lost for the most part. When I am at home I have a clear goal in mind, take care of the kids and Jonathan. Without that, I don't really know what to do with myself. I always wanted more time to myself and now I have too much time. I start thinking of what I could have done or should have done differently when I was home with them. I realize that all that thinking will just make me sad and depressed, so I am trying to get past that. It is weird not really living here. I drift through every day. At home, I live in two minute increments, or so. I know that I should be doing something or one of the kids need me. Here, I really don't have anything to anchor me. They days drag together and I don't look forward to the next one. I am living for a moment months away.
So, it comes to what I can do to try and improve my overall happiness while I am here. That is definetly a work in progress. It's awkward showing up to a unit where I don't know anyone and they already have the friends. They all know that I am the new girl and treat me accordingly. I can't honestly say that I have made any friends yet. Sure, I have only been here about two weeks, so I have to give it more time. I know eventually that I will have people that I want to be around and vice versa. Until then, I try and reach out and if it doesn't work out I try somebody else. I find it very difficult to be in the position where I have to make friends again.
Alas, fear not, I do have some positive things to say. I enjoy my job, a lot. It is nice being useful and learning new things. Working night shift also puts a giant smile on my face. I get to avoid both the upper rank echelon and get to sleep during the hottest part of the day. I am going to the gym everyday, which in turn makes my clothes too big for me. I play basketball every Friday night and lose with a smile on my face. At work, I get to talk a lot of trash. I mean A LOT of trash to the guys that also make me happy. I guess the two biggest things that make me happy are making my family proud of me. That means so much and I can't express how happy that makes me. Lastly, putting on this damn uniform is one of the happiest moments of my day. I know that I came back to the Army kicking and screaming, but there was a purpose. I can honestly say that I missed the Army, all the stupid rules and wacky regulations. I know that sure I may not be in Iraq or Afghanistan, but I am doing something my country. I am helping somebody accomplish their mission.
I know that I have a lot of things I need to fix about my current attitude. I have some horrible days and some not so horrible ones. I am on a mission to leave this place with a great attitude and a positive outlook on life. Am I going to get there soon? No. I have months to figure out how this will all play out.
Felice
Melissa invited me to be part of the blog and I am going to give it my best shot. I am stuck in the middle of the desert and am not too thrilled. It is very difficult being a mom and not being able to be around my kids. I am trying to parent from afar and I feel as though it doesn't make much of a difference. I feel lost for the most part. When I am at home I have a clear goal in mind, take care of the kids and Jonathan. Without that, I don't really know what to do with myself. I always wanted more time to myself and now I have too much time. I start thinking of what I could have done or should have done differently when I was home with them. I realize that all that thinking will just make me sad and depressed, so I am trying to get past that. It is weird not really living here. I drift through every day. At home, I live in two minute increments, or so. I know that I should be doing something or one of the kids need me. Here, I really don't have anything to anchor me. They days drag together and I don't look forward to the next one. I am living for a moment months away.
So, it comes to what I can do to try and improve my overall happiness while I am here. That is definetly a work in progress. It's awkward showing up to a unit where I don't know anyone and they already have the friends. They all know that I am the new girl and treat me accordingly. I can't honestly say that I have made any friends yet. Sure, I have only been here about two weeks, so I have to give it more time. I know eventually that I will have people that I want to be around and vice versa. Until then, I try and reach out and if it doesn't work out I try somebody else. I find it very difficult to be in the position where I have to make friends again.
Alas, fear not, I do have some positive things to say. I enjoy my job, a lot. It is nice being useful and learning new things. Working night shift also puts a giant smile on my face. I get to avoid both the upper rank echelon and get to sleep during the hottest part of the day. I am going to the gym everyday, which in turn makes my clothes too big for me. I play basketball every Friday night and lose with a smile on my face. At work, I get to talk a lot of trash. I mean A LOT of trash to the guys that also make me happy. I guess the two biggest things that make me happy are making my family proud of me. That means so much and I can't express how happy that makes me. Lastly, putting on this damn uniform is one of the happiest moments of my day. I know that I came back to the Army kicking and screaming, but there was a purpose. I can honestly say that I missed the Army, all the stupid rules and wacky regulations. I know that sure I may not be in Iraq or Afghanistan, but I am doing something my country. I am helping somebody accomplish their mission.
I know that I have a lot of things I need to fix about my current attitude. I have some horrible days and some not so horrible ones. I am on a mission to leave this place with a great attitude and a positive outlook on life. Am I going to get there soon? No. I have months to figure out how this will all play out.
Felice
Happiness Project Take Two.
So I have not written anything, and that's because well, I just didn't have anything positive to write and I didn't think that the world at large needed to hear me whine. I try to stay very positive, which is one of the key themes of the book (act the way you want to feel) but that has just been an epic failure lately and I am not sure why.
I had been doing pretty well with the whole life upheaval, move across the country thing, but in the last few days I feel as though I am not doing as well as I thought. I am trying to keep "balance" in mind, so I am going to break it down into the good and the bad...
The good..
1. Chris got a (really amazing) job and is happy so far. He's going to be doing a bit of traveling, but mostly not to combat zones (yay!).
2. The weather has been absolutely gorgeous, and I have been able to meet my goal of getting outside most days.
3. Zoe and Dominic started t ball which is tons of fun, and we also started family bowling with the other Melissa and Dominic and that's been a blast too. She has been a great friend to me here, especially since I don't have any others!
4. I don't want to jinx it, but Abby has been a bit better about not needing to be in my arms every single second.
5. Chris and I are stronger as a couple then we have ever been. I am still amazed that I find more things to love about him, as we have more and different experiences together.
6. Jessica will be here soon!
The bad...
1. Abby still doesn't sleep. This is hard. She also won't take a bottle. What this amounts to is that I never really have any time to myself and it's starting to make me very tired and pretty frustrated. I can't decide what I am more desperate for...6 hours of interrupted sleep or 6 hours all by myself.
2. I miss my mother a lot and Mother's Day is making me feel very down.
3. I am extremely lonely. Chris will do some things that I like, but it's just not as much fun when you aren't doing them with someone who likes them too. The other Melissa is very , very busy with all the acivities and her job, and so I have been missing the girl time.
4. Living with other people is very hard, no matter who they are and no matter how hard everyone tries.
5. Did I mention that I need sleep? Haha.
All in all, I have a lot to be grateful for. I just need to frame everything differently.
This month I am going to work on "parenting", since it's my primary job and I feel as though I worry about it the most.
I am going to resolve to:
1. Make my kids laugh hysterically once a day.
2. Play whatever Zoe wants with no limits at least once a day (I feel like I am always saying "no" or "some other time".)
3. Read "How to Talk So Your Kids Will Listen" and attempt to integrate the parts I find valuable.
4. Work on a new approach to discipline, mine is not working and does not make anyone feel good.
5. Continue to get them outside at least every day for exercise and fresh air.
So I hope that my next post brings about a more positive note, and thanks for listening to me vent!
Melissa #2
I had been doing pretty well with the whole life upheaval, move across the country thing, but in the last few days I feel as though I am not doing as well as I thought. I am trying to keep "balance" in mind, so I am going to break it down into the good and the bad...
The good..
1. Chris got a (really amazing) job and is happy so far. He's going to be doing a bit of traveling, but mostly not to combat zones (yay!).
2. The weather has been absolutely gorgeous, and I have been able to meet my goal of getting outside most days.
3. Zoe and Dominic started t ball which is tons of fun, and we also started family bowling with the other Melissa and Dominic and that's been a blast too. She has been a great friend to me here, especially since I don't have any others!
4. I don't want to jinx it, but Abby has been a bit better about not needing to be in my arms every single second.
5. Chris and I are stronger as a couple then we have ever been. I am still amazed that I find more things to love about him, as we have more and different experiences together.
6. Jessica will be here soon!
The bad...
1. Abby still doesn't sleep. This is hard. She also won't take a bottle. What this amounts to is that I never really have any time to myself and it's starting to make me very tired and pretty frustrated. I can't decide what I am more desperate for...6 hours of interrupted sleep or 6 hours all by myself.
2. I miss my mother a lot and Mother's Day is making me feel very down.
3. I am extremely lonely. Chris will do some things that I like, but it's just not as much fun when you aren't doing them with someone who likes them too. The other Melissa is very , very busy with all the acivities and her job, and so I have been missing the girl time.
4. Living with other people is very hard, no matter who they are and no matter how hard everyone tries.
5. Did I mention that I need sleep? Haha.
All in all, I have a lot to be grateful for. I just need to frame everything differently.
This month I am going to work on "parenting", since it's my primary job and I feel as though I worry about it the most.
I am going to resolve to:
1. Make my kids laugh hysterically once a day.
2. Play whatever Zoe wants with no limits at least once a day (I feel like I am always saying "no" or "some other time".)
3. Read "How to Talk So Your Kids Will Listen" and attempt to integrate the parts I find valuable.
4. Work on a new approach to discipline, mine is not working and does not make anyone feel good.
5. Continue to get them outside at least every day for exercise and fresh air.
So I hope that my next post brings about a more positive note, and thanks for listening to me vent!
Melissa #2
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